“No language can express the power, and
beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love. It shrinks not where
man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints” ~Edwin Hubbell Chapin
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie”. ~Tenneva Jordan
“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie”. ~Tenneva Jordan
“Being a full-time
mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is
pure love. “ ~Mildred B. Vermont
Today, I would like
to react to something I was told last week: “Oh, Adela, you are a “madraza””.
First things first:
the context. The sentence was uttered by a male friend of my Husband’s,
and it makes reference to my continuous taking care of my son in Buenos Aires.
Here, what I would
like to reflect upon, is the concealed chauvinism some expressions may present,
no matter how generously they appear to praise women with their words.
There are
expressions which appear to encourage women to do certain things, just by
tossing good adjectives against our poor and foolish self esteem. If we do not analyze every expression, what it says is really
great: we are THE mothers. We are the heroines. We are the
unique power in the world, to DO THE JOB. Just the ones required to do certain
things, like caring for our kids, leading the household, etc. If we are
present, everything is magic, isn’t it?
But it is not. We
should not take the bait: there is a hidden message of submission
behind these praising expressions. Women of the world, take care: We can be “madrazas” if we want. But it is absolutely not our
obligation.
Adela: I am not a mother, but I am an aunt... I've taken care of my nieces since I was 14 (and I'm 27 now...) and I've seen how they grow and it is my desire to become a mom some day...
ResponderEliminarAfter having said all this, I have to tell you that I agree with you in the sense that... Women are still treated as inferior... Being a "madraza" could be a very good thing... Depending on what you mean by it... If someone's intention is to take advantage of you because you are a "madraza" (when I say you, I do not actually mean YOU, but an "impersonal you") or by that expression they are treating you as someone who has to be subjugated to your husband, children and house... Then, sometimes, it is better not to say anything at all... Don't you think??? ;)
You know, I'm the kind of woman that hates chauvinism, but at the same time, I find myself making feminist jokes sometimes. It is quite contradictory, don't you think? I believe that women should have had the same rights men had from the very very beginning. It was not like that and, consequently, there are some women like me who feel nauseas (though it is a very strong word) when men say something about the role of women, EVEN if they don't mean it.
ResponderEliminarAdela, YOU ARE A MADRAZA. And I know you do it because you love your kid and not because society expects that from you. Stay strong my dear mate, someday LIFE WILL REWARD YOU.
Haha, “is not our obligation”. That is really funny Ade. I´m not a mother, yet. But I hope one day to have not one, but 3 children. The thing is that even though mothers do not look for it, I mean to be a MADRAZA, it is in our nature, we can´t help it. So, in spite of what the message really implies or “hides” you, as a MOTHER, would not let your son prostrated in a bed, watching him fading away. I KNOW YOU WOULDN´T. Even I wouldn´t, and I´m not a mother yet. You will always do something in order to make him feel better.
ResponderEliminarBy the way ADELA = MADRAZA :)
Feminism is out there, and we have dealt with the work of female authors such as M. Atwood, who is proud of being called a feminist, and we have heard a speech by I. Allende. In spite of the existance of these great thinkers, and many others, chauvinism still exist. Why is that so? is it because, and I'm sorry to say this, MOTHERS are the ones woh educated our children? Myself included. It is extremely hard to change the way of thinking and labelling of our patriarchal culture. Does any one agree with me??
ResponderEliminar